Friday, April 18, 2014

In a deep mood

I'm in a deep mood tonight.  I've been thinking about friendship. You really never know who your true friends are until your relationship has been put to the test.  I've suffered some terrible losses in my life. I'm sure most of us have.  Unfortunately pain and suffering are part of living in this world.

 A dear friend whom I've never met in real life had a terrible loss a few months ago. Terrible. The worst. And I, although I haven't experienced the same level of loss , try my best to identify. To find the correct words. The words that really will never make any of it better. Ever. Never ever ever. I never wanted to be a fair weather friend. Being a true friend is messy. It means being there for the good and the bad. It means rather than standing on the sidelines, getting down and dirty in the mud. It means being able to empathize. Not sympathize. Sympathy is for cowards. Sympathy makes us feel better about ourselves without having to share another persons pain. Empathy is feeling that knife twist when your friend is hurting and being present in the moment in any way possible. When my dad died I was lucky enough to have a friend to come and be with me. To just listen. And let me cry. Because nothing will ever be truly OK. There is nothing to say.  It's all about being present and trying your best to let your friend grieve and to be there as a shoulder to lean on. A true friend is there for the unpleasant. I am willing to be there. Are you?
Dear friend. You know who you are. And I will never speak your name or your private business but I just needed to let you know that no matter what.... You have true friends who are not just standing idly by watching you and saying "gosh I hope she's ok". No. We hurt with you. Your pain is our pain. Your Joy is our joy. And we would give anything to be right there for hugs and support day or night.
Much love.

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